My first STD was from a foam party
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
