glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
