I'm drive I can fine osifer
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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