Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
