dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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