I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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