mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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