Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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