im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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