Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize