belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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