Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
