You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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