i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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