He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
