we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
