Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
