4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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