i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize