Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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