Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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