Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
