ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
