all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We left the knife in your bed.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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