anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
