The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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