he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
this will be a night to untag.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
