Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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