I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
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I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
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Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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