i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
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She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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