"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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