wat bout pragnant strippers??
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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