So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
