Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
