Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
