i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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