he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
