party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I could make wine with my vomit
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
