You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How's work?
Spinning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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