We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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