): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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