Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
