You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize