Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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