im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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