Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I will pee on everything he values.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
