All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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