Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Enjoy the penises
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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