Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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