The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
