erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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