I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can't turn off my feet"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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