FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
