no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize