I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i wish my penis had a tongue
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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