Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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