I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize