the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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