You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
