We're facebook friends in real life
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
