You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
