were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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